31 Days of Drafts and Darkness:

"Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" (2012)

I know, I know. It just shouldn't work. With a concept so undeniably cheesy it could be grated over pizza, "Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" should be pure schlock. Then you sit down to watch it, expecting campy delight. And while the camp is there, you'll soon find yourself saying: "...this is a lot better than it has any right to be.

Yes, "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" is a B-movie at heart. However, it accomplishes something I can think of no other B-movie doing. For all the fluff, the cast plays things 100% serious, as if this is actually how history went down. It sounds like the makings of comedy gold, but miraculously, it works. Soon into the film, you find yourself forgetting the dumb concept and get swept up in all the period-piece adventure.

The Plot:

Turns out the history books were wrong: Abraham Lincoln's mother did not die of milk disease. In truth, she was attacked by a vampire when Abe was only nine years old. Growing up in a rough world and with vengeance in his heart, Abraham Lincoln swears revenge on the low-life that 'poisoned' his mother. When he finally confronts the killer as a young man, Abe learns that vampires are very real and quite dangerous.

Our young president-to-be is saved by Henry Sturges, a self-proclaimed vampire hunter who knows his way around a stake. He offers to take Abe under his wing, teaching him the ways of the slayer. Stubborn as  Lincoln is, he accepts the offer, taking an old wood-cutting axe as his weapon of choice. In this lore, vampires are allergic to sliver, so Abe melts some of the molten metal over the edge for added oomph against the undead. 

Taking up a quiet job (read: cover) as a clerk, Abe seems like the typical everyday workingman, only going on hunting sprees by nightfall. Occasionally he makes time to study law, too. You can probably guess what that leads to.

Flash forward through years and politics, and Abe's presidency sees him uncover a dark secret about the Civil War. Vampires have allied with the Confederates, hoping to claim the North (and ultimately the rest of the continent) once the war is won. Dressing up as soldiers, the vampires are able to shrug off musket-fire like mosquito bites and tear through Union troops with ease. The North is starting to buckle under the might of these supernatural armies. And so Abe begins a quest to equip his army for a new sort of enemy.

The Flavor:

Wow, even as I go about writing that plot, I'm made aware of how silly it all seems. And yet, be it from genuinely sincere characters and/or interesting little tweaks on history, "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" manages to be completely enjoyable without making you laugh at it. The movie's extreme action scenes and odd charm actually hook you from the get-go, so while you'll be constantly entertained, you'll never find yourself mocking the film.

With large-scale battles and a sense of history in the grand, epic form (rather than accurate), "Abe Lincoln" sweeps you up in its alternate but bad-ass account how the Civil War was really won. That this Abraham Lincoln is equal parts passionate orator and fierce fighter only serves to give the character a superhero-like persona. For all the cheesy-potential, actor Benjamin Walker plays Abe with a swashbuckling sort of vibe that fits the film's atmosphere. The whole cast could've phoned in their performances, but there's not a drop of sarcasm in any of their acting. They actually sell the story, so serious are they in their roles.

With ample vampire-based gore and some neat fight choreography, "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" has just as much action/adventure as it does horror. The vampires are suave when they wish to be, but can turn feral and ferocious at a moment. This helps to make them more threatening, as we're never sure when the fangs are about to come out. Abe's axe-jitsu is also a tremendously fun style of combat to watch. Using the weight of the axe-head, Lincoln swings and spins the sliver blade through vampire flesh like it were butter. Bloody and totally over-the-top. 

Best Paired with:

A pure Friday night movie, "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" is best watched with a fun-loving friends and a bunch of unhealthy food. Order up some pizzas, making sure at least one is garlic-lovers, and have yourself an axe-swinging good time.

Whether this makes for Halloween family night viewing depends on how old your kids are. I wouldn't recommend this film to young children, as there is a fair amount of gore, but teenagers are sure to eat it up.

Accompanying Brew:

Too easy:

From Clown Shoes, located right here in Massachusetts, comes tonight's aptly-named brew of choice: Vampire Slayer. Coming in wine bottle-sized portions (though 4-packs come out in March!), Vampire Slayer is made with darkly roasted malts, some of which are smoked over hickory and ash wood. 

The bottle claims that this wood is taken from 'vampire-killing stakes', and that there's holy water in the beer, too. Who knows, perhaps this brew will protect you from vampire attacks while you drink?

Pouring a 'light-shall-not-permeate' black, Vampire Slayer's an imperial stout both in body and flavor. The body is heavy. The texture smooth. And the ABV is high, at 11%. As such, when partaking of this hunter's stout, take your time and sip slowly.

If you're a fan of Guiness, you'll instantly recognize the deep roasted flavor of the malts. But two other tastes will appear on your tongue as well. For one, the higher alcohol gives Vampire Killer and sharply sweet note that goes well with the dark malt. Many imperial stouts have this bite. 

However, most lack the next flavor you'll run into. With a portion of its malt hickory-smoked, Vampire Slayer has elements of a rauchbier (German smoke beer) imbued into its flavor profile. The smoky flavor is first covered by the roasty quality and sweetness, but as the initial taste fades, the smoke character makes its presence well known and leaves a nice savory aftertaste on the tongue.

Got some vampires that need a-slayin? Grab a history book, a sharpie, and a bottle of Clown Shoe's Vampire Killer to go with "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter". 

31 Days of Drafts and Darkness:

"May" (2002)

For all their carnage, most scary stories boil down to classic tragedy. Think about it: flawed characters making decisions leading to their downfall, lessons on morality taken to the extreme. It's the rare breed of scary movie that can make you both afraid and sympathetic to the threat, even feeling genuinely sorry when things turn dark.   

A well-known example of this species of horror is "Carrie" (1976), which portrayed its telekinetically-gifted pariah as a tortured-soul lashing out at the cruelty around her. Her prom-scene massacre is more a nervous breakdown made lethal than it is a monster's rampage. And we, having seen this character go through so much abuse, feel for her even as she destroys her tormentors. To feel petty justice would be easy. We know it won't be that simple for Carrie White.

Though tonight's film lacks paranormal elements, "May" still tells a frighteningly-human tale of a young woman who's inability to find friends leads her to create one of her own.

I seriously recommend this criminally-underrated and disturbing film. For all the horror, there's an equal measure of depth.

The Plot:

As a child, May Canaday had the misfortune to develop a lazy eye. Mocked by schoolmates and obsessed over by a judgmental mother, May never developed proper social skills and chose to fade into the background. To help coupe, her mother buys her a porcelain doll, fragile but beautiful. May idolizes the doll, whom she names Suzie, and sees her as the only friend she has.

Years later, May is an adult, long since moved away from her mother, but still talking to Suzie. Though May's lazy eye is now corrected via glasses, whenever she takes them off she's reminded of her 'deformity'. Thus, the psychological weight she bore as a child remains firmly intact. What's worse, while May is a talented seamstress, assisting at a vet's office with surgeries and stitching, she has a hard time talking to people. Whenever she's able to make a connection, the social atmosphere grows strange.

When May finally does meet someone and they begin dating, her lack of social grace turns him away. Blaming herself and Suzie in equal measure, May begins a journey through different sorts of relationships - romantic, flings, friendship - all of which result in insult. What May never realizes is that it's the people she's hanging out with that are the problem. Not her.

Sadly, after so many failed attempt to find a friend, May decides the only way to find the perfect person is to literally make them for herself.

The Flavor:

As a main character, you immediately feel for May and want to see her succeed. She seems like a good person at heart but comes off as so creepy and even morose that you'll find yourself repelled at times. May's lack of social graces goes beyond awkwardness and can get creepy. She's fascinated with the body, pointing out the 'perfect' physical features of everyone she meets right to their face. Though she initially has no ill intent, the more she's pushed around, the more we see her draw nearer to the edge.

The tragedy is in how her choice of friends spells her own dark destiny. Ever seeking approval from those she deems beautiful, Mae's quest for acceptance pairs her with, frankly, bad people. When they hurt her, she assumes it's because of her own flaws.

Most of "May" is quite slow, taking you from one character-driven scene to the next. The creepiness comes not from what's happening but what the film is slowly building up to. Each heart-breaking scene sees May slip a little further and confide more in her  Suzie. We don't want to see her hit that breaking point - like Carrie - but we have an awful feeling that it's getting closer. And it might be inevitable.

Packing a lot of psychological punch alongside the melancholy, "May" makes for a reflective sort of horror movie that has plenty of disturbing moments, but just as many sad ones. It's a character study of someone that has the potential to either live happily-ever-after or become a monster. And unlike most horror, in "May" we hope the monster never appears because we like the person struggling against it.

Best Paired with:

Moody and delicate, "May" is the somber sort of film best enjoyed when you're feeling something serious. It'll get under your skin shortly into its runtime, but more for its atmosphere than any incident onscreen. As I said earlier, that you're made aware of the impending storm ratchets up the tension. With every abuse May goes through, you wonder if this will be the moment she loses it.

I'd recommend watching "May" alone or with a significant other so you can reflect on the film. It'll stay with you more for its larger themes than its scary or violent moments. Such moments are there, don't get me wrong. Human anatomy is obsessed over is grisly ways. One of the film's final shots was disturbing enough to make me scream without even being a jump-scare. Just pure, quite, disturbing terror.  

That's the kinda horror you're in for if you give "May" a watch.

Accompanying Brew:

"May" is plenty grim, but its main character's attitude is so hopeful and delicate that I feel tonight's brew should focus on that rather than dark tones. "May" also has some complexity for a horror film, so I'll look for complexity out of our beer as well.

From Germany, Paulaner's Oktoberfest-Marzen is a wheat-based brew with the characteristic tang of Bavarian yeast. Paulaner produces many classic German-style beers with traditional ingredients. At first glance, Oktoberfest-Marzen appears like any other typical octoberfest-style ale. But this is no ale, rather a Bavarian-style lager.

Being that, Oktoberfest packs a slight zing of hop and malt flavor, but retains a velvety and crisp body. It's like drinking air. What's more, aside from the hop and malt flavor, the unique sweet flavor provided by Bavarian yeast is delicate and delicious. More a mild, smooth sweetness than sugary taste. It allows Oktoberfest to remain sweet without ever getting overly cloying.

This combination of gentle sweetness with nutty malt makes for a Fall beer that has layers. A great pairing to an equally complex little film.   

31 Days of Drafts and Darkness:

"Insidious" (2010)

James Wann is a writer/direction who made his horror introduction with a grisly little film called "Saw". Nowadays, mention of "Saw" most often brings up the topic of 'torture porn', a new version of exploitation film that shocks its audience by keeping its victims alive while all the bloodletting occurs. As much a horror fan as I am, I'm not big into this sub-genre. While I understand the concept of taking exploitation horror to the next level, there's some areas I feel it's just distasteful to cross into. 

What's interesting is that "Saw", the first entry in the series, really only features brief gore. Much of the nasty scenes are left to the imagination. It's the concept of the film - maiming yourself in order to survive - that hits the visceral cord with folks. Subsequent entries in the series get progressively more icky, but the original's  more about psychological fear than it is blood and guts.

Though Mr. Wann continued acting as producer to the "Saw" sequels, his directing ventured down a different horror avenue. His later work illustrates that he's a writer and filmmaker far more interested in the classic scary elements - dread and atmosphere - over cheap gore and gimmick.

Tonight's entry is a perfect illustration of that. Let's check out "Insidious"

The Plot:

We open on your picturesque American family.  Moving into a beautiful new home, the gang reflects on their good fortune and are all smiles as they carry boxes down dusty hallways. One of the young sons notices an odd ladder up to the antic. Surely nothing could be off about that creaky old place?

Before long, the house beings to reveal paranormal elements. Along with the usual array of odd noises and creaky floors, the youngest son suffers an accident after exploring the antic. This ordeal leaves him in a coma. Doctors are perplexed, not knowing what's caused his condition. Fearing ghostly-influence, the couple does what so, so, so, sooooo many families have overlooked in past scary movies: if you're living in a haunted house, just move.

And so they do.

And yet, even in the new place, things don't return to normal. With the son still in a coma and freaky events persisting, we realize that this haunting isn't attached to any house. It's attached to the boy, himself. Upon consulting a team of paranormal experts, the family is horrified to learn that it's not a mere ghost after their child, but something much, much worse.

Plot-wise, things get more intense. But best to let you humble viewers learn such secrets yourselves.  

The Flavor:

"Insidious" plays its first half as a modern and effective spin on the haunted-house style movie. Playing up its dark hallways and cobwebs, this film knows exactly how to ramp up tension whenever a character walks into the unknown. Yes, the occasional jump scare happens, but most of the creep-factor comes from the atmosphere. At the beginning, you're aware of some kind of paranormal trickery, but have no idea why, what, or who. 

That the poltergeist could be anything literally means that anything could be around the corner whenever someone ventures off alone. James Wann plays this initial half of "Inisidious" like a fanboy of all-things old school scary. Having seen haunted house movies, ourselves, we assume the usual story will develop and the family will flee at the end.

That's when the second half throws a wrench into that notion.

You see, it's not so simple as a ghost. Something more malicious has set sight on the family, and while the first half builds a slow-burn towards what this thing actually is, the second half lets it loose. 

We're introduced to this film's monstrous entity in one shot. It comes out of nowhere, seemingly during a quiet scene. And the image of its face burns into your brain. From that point on, you're well-aware what you're dealing with. It ain't pretty.

And so unfolds the final third of the film, where the tone shifts dramatically. "Insidious" has, up until this point, presented a spooky but rather realistic take on paranormal disturbance. Once the characters figure out what's happening and how to stop it,  the film takes a more metaphysical approach. When the family patriach offers to visit the spectral plane his son is prisoner in, things get weird.

A lot of people feel this tonal shift is jarring. Me? I sorta dug the different direction. Much as I was enjoying the haunted house vibe, the shift to ethereal odyssey felt appropriate given the info that comes to light. I won't spoil anything, but let's just say these matters have a history in the family. While the astral world is certainly out-there and dream-like, it certainly doesn't disappoint in the disturbing-imagery department.

Best Paired with:

As a chiller with old-school mentally, "Insidious" makes for great Halloween viewing among friends of any taste. The film's got enough horror muscle to please even die-hard fans of the genre, while the lack of gore will keep causal fans suitably afraid but not disgusted.  It also makes for the perfect sort of scary movie to see on a date. Spooky, but not so horrifying as to turn your date's stomach or disturb them. It's the perfect "grab onto my arm" kind of scary movie.

While "Insidious" plays homage to the horror of old, and thus has little bloodshed, I hesitate to recommend it for family night. While the content is PG-13 in theory, the film's got some imagery that I imagine will scar little kids into week-long stints of insomnia. If your children are teenagers, I'd say they can handle it. However, if your kid is under 10 and you show them "Insidious", expect to have a little companion huddled up to you in bed for quite a while.

Accompanying Brew:

 With "Insidious" taking classic horror elements to construct a modern story, I wanted tonight's brew to be a modern take on a traditional and time-tested blend of flavors.

From New York, Goose Island is a brewery that's been around for years, but I've only recently begun sampling. So far, each of their brews has been a flavorful and classic entry in its respective style. No crazy flavors, just solid executions of your beer standbys: IPAs, summer ale, standard 'flagship' ale, etc.

And tonight's entry: Goose Island's Harvest Ale.

When you crack open a bottle of Harvest Ale, you'll note a surprisingly hoppy scent. Most Fall brews hold back on the hop to better illustrate their malts and/or spices, and thus frequently feature nutty or sweeter scents.

This scent extends into the flavor. With a bit more hop than typical seasonals, Harvest Ale drinks far more like a standard ale with added malt than it does an Octoberfest-style brew. Whereas Octoberfests feature a bounty of malt flavor and nutty tones, Harvest Ale stands more on the side of a traditional ale. The hops are more forward on the palate, revealing their slightly bitter but crisp flavor early on in a sip before the added malty notes characteristic of Fall styles show up.

That the malt notes are more subtle is a welcome change of pace from the usual seasonal styles. If you prefer your beer free of spices, Goose Island's Harvest Ale provides enough hop bite to please even traditionalists. It also brings enough extra malt to the party to add some subtle nut flavor to the mix without getting sweet. 

For those that like their scary movies and beer on the classic side, both "Insidious" and Goose Island's Harvest Ale offer familiar entries with high-quality presentation. What's more, both the film and the brew then take those old styles and spin them into something new. 

31 Days of Drafts and Darkness:

"Little Shop of Horrors" (1986)

You know what's funny? The more Halloween films I see, the more I see horror wed to comedy. What is it about scary themes and atmosphere that lends itself so well to laughter? It is that we like some levity to go with our darkness? Maybe a gleam of hope amid chaos?

Probably, but my take's a bit more simple. Much like Halloween, one of the best ways to overcome fear is to have fun with it. Not avoid, but rather embrace it. Make it your own.

Tonight's entry is a Halloween classic that's more comedy than strict horror. Oh sure, plenty of folks get devoured over the course of "Little Shop of Horrors", but everything's staged in such a dramatic and musical fashion that the film's far more upbeat than grisly.

The Plot:

Seymour is a down-on-his luck New Yorker struggling to make ends meet in skid row's neighborhood flower shop. Quiet, shy, and meek, Seymour is dying to express his affection for coworker Audrey, a sweet but chronically abused city gal who's taste in sleaze-ball boyfriends often backfires on her. Both Seymour and Audrey dream of a better life, free of the gutter.

Things turn around one day when Seymour comes across a bizarre plant on the streets of New York. Being the neighborhood florist, he sets up the little plant in the shop and is surprised to find it attract a tidal wave of attention. Nearly everyone's gotta stop by and check out that amazing plant! And heck, why not pick up a dozen roses while visiting? Within weeks, Seymour's gone from broke nobody to local celebrity. The shop's thriving, but unfortunately, Seymour's little floral pal isn't. For all the water and attention Seymour dotes on the plant, it seem to wither away. 

That is until the day it gets its first taste of blood.

Now Audrey 2, as Seymour's named the sprout, is growing bigger - and more hungry - by the day. This plant is Seymour's shot to success, but it's starting to set its sights on bigger snacks.

The Flavor:

Based on both an early Roger Corman horror film and subsequent Broadway show, the 80's remake of "Little Shop of Horrors" combines both the campy sci-fi elements of the original with the stage-like production of the musical. Though light-hearted, "Little Shop" is a cautionary tale, almost Faustian, about going too far to seek out your dreams. This film's theatrical ending is actually an optimistic departure from the original, but we'll get to that in a minute. Though this "Little Shop" has a few creepy moments, the majority of the film is drenched in a hokey charm that'll put a smile on your face throughout.

Having viewed this film again for the first time in years, I had forgotten how many beloved 80's comic superstars it featured. Aside from Rick Moranis's heroic Seymour, you have Steve Martin as sadistic dentist, with Bill Murray as his masochistic patient, and the late, great John Candy as a radio host. Each is in their comedic prime and plays their character as high-energy and demented as possible. Be they in the role of hero or villain, a main character or mere cameo, each is bound to make you crack up.

As Audrey, Ellen Page gets to surprise the audience by speaking in a wispy little New York accent, then blasting her voice up to operatic levels during musical numbers. Some of her high-notes give you chills. And then of course, we can't leave out Levi Stubbs, who soulfully voices Audrey 2, the killer plant. Channeling jazz and the blues, Stubbs makes for a monster that's as blood-thirsty as any other horror icon, but insanely charismatic. This rousing cast combine comedy, Broadway bombast, and sci-fi shlock into a tremendously entertaining and very catchy film.

Also, as I mentioned earlier, the film's theatrical ending is not the original. Though the ending you've likely seen is the 'happy' one, there exists another climax. Though I won't spoil it, let's just say the original ending pays a more traditional homage to old school scary movies. It was actually the most expensive part of the movie to film, and when you see it, you'll get why. Test audiences felt it too dark, so they went back and filmed the more upbeat version.

While this does sort of counteract the fact that the story's supposed to be a tragedy, I still find myself giving the happy ending a pass just because the characters are so loveable. You want to see them succeed. 

To be honest, I like both endings. The darker finale touches on the story's lesson and pays homage to old-school alien invasion flicks, while the lighter version is more enjoyable on the character level.  

Best Paired with:

With lots of monstrous moments but very little violence, "Little Shop of Horrors" makes for a great family Halloween film. There's a little coarse dialogue and a few references to bedroom antics, but it's all implied and will go over the head of any kid watching it. For the most, the scenes where Audrey 2 chows down on an unsuspecting character are set up darkly, but executed in a comic style that's far from bloody. Most of the time, Audrey 2's late night snacks are played for laughs.

"Little Shop" also has a rousing musical score that'll be stuck in your head for days, so any fans of musicals should be sure to check it out. There's also plenty of love given to some of the monster and alien films of the 50's, so if movies like "Them" are up your alley, "Little Shop" has some treats for you as well.

Despite a grim-sounding title, "Little Shop of Horrors" is a fairly light-hearted and fun little movie.   

Accompanying Brew:

Given the home-grown nature of our film's villain, how about we go with something organic tonight?

Otter Creek/Wolaver's is a Vermont-based brewery out of Middlebury that produces a selection of USDA-certified organic beers. Though they keep their selections simple with a solid lineup of ales, stouts, and IPAs, their offerings are consistently high-quality and delicious. This is fast-becoming one of my go-to craft brewers.

Wolaver's Pumpkin Ale pulls no fancy tricks or gimmicks. It's your basic pumpkinhead ale with the standard array of Fall spices. The approach is typical, but the execution is gold. With only a subtle use of sweet and spicy, Wolaver's Pumpkin Ale has more pure pumpkin flavor than any other pumpkinhead I've tried. You can really taste the vegetable-like tang of the pumpkin with each sip. The cinnamon is light enough to amp the flavor without taking over and the sweetness never gets cloying. I'd actually recommend not using a cinnamon-sugar rim on the glass when drinking this ale. Avoiding the extra spice and sugar will allow you to appreciate the softer flavors and crisp body.

Of all the pumpkin beers I've tried, Wolaver's Pumpkin Ale is my favorite. 

For an experience that's high in quality and simply wants to make its audience smile, both "Little Shop of Horrors" and Wolaver's Pumpkin Ale make for a great seasonal pairing.

"Feed me, Seymour!"

...how about a drink?

31 Days of Drafts and Darkness:

"Braindead" (also known as "Dead Alive")(1992)

Early into October, I noted that "Piranha 3D" was one of the most violent films I've ever seen. Just not the most violent. That honor goes to tonight's entry.

Before filming hobbits, Peter Jackson's early work was seriously twisted. "Braindead", also known as "Dead Alive" in the United States, is his attempt at making the most extreme and over-the-top zombie film imaginable. He does this with little budget and some of the most disgusting practical effects I've ever seen. Just when you think the movie couldn't get more gross, another scene tops the one before it. Things get so drenched in goo that by the halfway point, you'll be laughing in equal measure to squirming.

Fair warning, horror fans, if you're going to give "Braindead" a spin, make sure to watch on an empty stomach.

The Plot:

We begin following an expedition on a small Sumatran island. A group of researchers is fleeing a local tribe that seems all too eager to murder them. Might it have something to do with the strange animal they've smuggled out of the village? It soon becomes clear that whatever this little creature is, the tribe does not want it freed. When one of the lead smuggler gets bitten on the arm, even his own team is quick to relief him of the appendage. Sadly, he's also taken a scratch. To the head.

A short time later, we meet our hero Lionel. He's a thirty-something dweeb living in a sleepy New Zealand town. A nice guy, but utterly whipped by his elderly mother, whom he still lives with. Lionel's mother constantly torments him, even going so far as to intrude in on his dates. One such foray at the local zoo sees her come across the path of a certain trans-located critter from Sumatra. Getting too close to its cage, Lionel's mother is bitten by this creature, a "Rat Monkey", and responds by indignantly driving her high-heeled shoe through its skull.

Though the little creature is dead, its bite leaves a bit of an impression on the woman. Lionel's mother begins a rapid descent into zombification, craving flesh and losing body parts at an alarming rate. Ever the devoted son, Lionel does all he can to incapacitate and restrain his monstrous mother, even shooting her full of tranquilizer to calm her aggression. Despite his efforts, the infection spreads, resulting in even more zombies for Lionel to pacify. 

Or attempt to, at least.

With the zombie-plague spreading and body-count going up, can Lionel finally summon the nerve to stand up to his mother, now literally a monster, and save the town from a zombie apocalypse? It'll take courage, determination, and a chest-mounted lawnmower. Plus about a life-time supply of moist-wipes and hand sanitizer.

The Flavor:

Grim as the above may appear, "Braindead" is really more of a horror comedy than it is straight zombie film. Yes, the death scenes  feature some of the most disgusting demises I've ever seen put on film. In fact, the sheer number of inventive ways the zombies manage to tear victims apart is astounding. Though made on a small budget, the scale of carnage that ensues in "Braindead" makes you realize that more than half the film's finances must have gone towards special effects.

And yet, grisly as proceeding are, the film is utterly hysterical. The gore is so ludicrously over the top, so completely cartoony, that you can't help but crack up after every skull rip and skin tear. You may raise a skeptical eyebrow, but I assure you, for all its depravity, "Braindead" is a rip-roaring good time that never takes itself too seriously. Even the camera angles feature comical zooms and close-ups.

Throughout all the gore, we're treated to a kung-fu priest who fights the undead with karate, zombie-intestines taking on a life of their own, and even a zombie baby. And no, I'm not talking about a baby that was bitten. Two zombies actually hook up and reproduce, resulting in the nasty little baby zombie puppet who's first trip to the playground is played for slap-sticky laughs. That there's basically a zombie Muppet in this movie should give you ample indication that nothing's is meant to be taken seriously. This is Peter Jackson and his crew reveling in the blood-soaked fun and going for the most extreme horror movie they can .

Lionel's a great hero for playing both bumbling momma's boy and eventual badass. His initial attempts to contain the zombies are laughable in their mundane but well-intentioned approached . He simply sits the zombies down at the table (they're duct-taped to the chairs) and feeds them tranquilizer-infused eggs to calm them. One zombie who had the misfortune of having her head yanked backwards gets to have the eggs directly spooned down her open esophagus. That's how committed a son Lionel is.

Once the zombies start to threaten his girlfriend, however, Lionel's had enough. Strapping a lawnmower to his chest, he pronounces "Party's over" and begins mowing down the undead in a display so brutal you could fill an aquarium with the amount of fake blood spilled. It's sheer spectacle in how much corn syrup was used for this scene alone, and it's the perfect tone-setter for the film.

Best Paired with:

I recommend watching "Braindead" with some good friends, especially if they're horror fans. If so, they'll be laughing and shouting at all the splatter and splendor throughout. Gore-hounds will be particularly pleased at the use of prosthetics and practical makeup effects employed in some of the most creative and stomach-turning manners imaginable.

For casual viewers: stay away. "Braindead" is funny as hell, but likely too gory to able handled by those without strong stomachs. Little kids and the squeamish will be utterly traumatized at some of the death scenes in the movie.

However, if you're able to stomach the proceedings, I really recommend you check this film out. You really can't help but commend Peter Jackson and his crew on the level of craziness they take things to. That "Braindead" is simultaneously the most gory film I've ever seen, yet it's so zany that not a moment of it disturbs me, is puzzling. I guess it all goes to show how much tone can really make the film. "Braindead" most certainly sets out to disgust you, but it also wants you to laugh at all the craziness. Much in the same way little kids find gross things amusing, so too will "Braindead" make you crack up at the squishy and bizarre. For all the viscera, it's quite glee-full.

Accompanying Brew:

As Peter Jackson and co. set out to make the most extreme horror comedy they could, I feel tonight's brew should involve an absolute explosion of Fall flavor. Intense and perhaps decadent, such a beer must be as unapologetic as "Braindead".

Southern Tier's Pumpking Ale is perhaps the most popular Imperial pumpkin ale I've seen on store shelves. Though not all liquor stores carry wine bottle-sized craft brews, I see Pumpking sold at most during the Fall. Even in those which normally carry only typical mainstream brews.

I attribute its popularity to the following: it's sweet. Really, really sweet. Like slice of pumpkin pie in a glass sweet. Pumpking doesn't go for subtle flavors or nuance. Rather, it fires an array of spices out of a cannon and into your mouth. If you're a fan of Fall brews, Pumpking is like a concentrated blast of pure seasonal essence at your taste buds.

Now personally, I find the sweetness too strong. There's almost a candy-like flavor to the brew, so strong is the sugar and spice. However, personal tastes vary, and not everyone enjoys a beer as bitter and/or dark as I. For fans of sweeter, less bitter brews, especially those packed with pumpkin and spice flavor, Pumpkin delivers an incredibly intense taste. The sweet flavor comes in part  from the higher alcohol, so bear that in mind as you drink. As an Imperial brew, Pumpking (8.6% abv!) can most certainly knock you out if you underestimate it.  

For the unabashed confidence in taking things to the flavor-extreme, both "Braindead" and Southern Tier Pumpking make for a great pairing. You'll find no quiet moments here. Only bold and wild selections that seek to blast the senses. An intense viewing paired with an intense ale.  

31 Days of Drafts and Darkness:

"Dog Soldiers" (2002)

Vampires and zombies have had their fun. Another classic Halloween icon has yet to make our list. When the moon is full, you'd better be packing silver.

The Plot:

Written and directed by Neil Marshall (who also wrote and directed "The Descent"), "Dog Soldiers" is a  story of man against beast.

In the highlands of Scotland, a British military unit is on special training. This band of troops is no typical lot of monster fodder. Each of these soldiers is a rough,well-trained fighter. And armed to the teeth with heavy weaponry. Though the woods are rumored to contain beasts, these troops couldn't care less. The only thing on their minds is beating the rival military team, a special ops unit also roaming the forest.

Shortly into their mission, they find the rival team. Torn to pieces.

Before long, they're attacked by the culprits: a ferocious band of werewolves. With their normal bullets doing little else than slowing the beasts, the soldiers seek shelter in an old cabin and attempt to stand their ground. The odds don't look good, but if these troops have to die, they're going out fighting. 

A few of them sustained bites, but I'm sure they'll be fine. They seem to be healing up a lot faster than normal, anyways. That can't be a bad sign. Can it?

The Flavor:

The plot of "Dog Soldiers" is about as straight-forward as it gets for horror films. Take a group, dump them into the woods, spice with foreboding, then let all hell loose. What makes the film unique is how its cast responds to the ordeal. Unlike a clueless band of teenagers, the soldiers don't lose their cool or panic. Rather, they keep their military discipline. You can tell they've been in rough patches before, as they're even able to crack jokes in between werewolf attacks. This difference in character attitude and competence provides three refreshing changes from your usual monster movie.

First, that these soldiers are organized and intelligent means they're not apt to make dumb decisions. Whereas lack of judgment among victims is a staple of scary movies, don't expect our heroes to walk blindly into the jaws of death. This makes them far more realistic, so even if each soldier isn't a fully fleshed-out character with arc and back story, their behavior still feels real.

Secondly, that the soldiers are capable and yet still seriously threatened by these werewolves shows just how dangerous the monsters are. Upon witnessing the unit's best tactics and weapons simply shrugged off by approaching werewolves, we realize they're basically tanks with fur. You respect the abilities of our main characters, so seeing their strength suddenly and savagely overpowered can't help but make you feel small. You ask yourself: if these guys are getting torn apart, what chance would I have? The werewolves of  "Dog Soldiers" are far more terrifying because of this.

Finally, the soldier vs. werewolf setup allows "Dog Soldiers" to showcase just as much action as horror. While there's no shortage of scares, the fight scenes between human and beast are absolutely adrenaline packed. Even when a character knows they're about to die, they make sure to give the monsters hell before their last breath.

Best Paired with:

"Dog Soldiers" should appeal equally to both horror and action movie fans. The werewolf siege on the cabin feels genuinely frightening. You never quite know from where a claw will erupt. In those same scenes, the determination with which the troops fight back and fortify their shelter will make you root for them the same way you would Arnold or Stallone.

Thus, "Dog Soldiers" makes for a fun watch either alone or with friends. There's lots of gore and foul language, so leave the little ones out of this. Those squeamish may also want to look away at times. While the violent moments are nothing out of the ordinary for werewolf films, that these beasts kill by literally tearing their prey apart should clue you in to how nasty things get.

Accompanying Brew:

 I almost feel like tonight's pairing brew is cheating, but it's too perfect a match to deny.

From Great Britain comes Newcastle's Werewolf Blood Red Ale. It's only in recent years that Newcastle's started putting out seasonal brews in the U.S., and Werewolf is the first I recall finding.

Pouring a dark amber shade, Werewolf initially looks like a slightly more crimson version of the classic Newcastle Brown Ale. When you take your first sip, you'll be reminded of the slightly sweet taste of a regular Newcastle, too. As the brew washes over your tongue, a bite of rye comes with it. The rye taste is mild, but certainly noticeable. Many people aren't used to this flavor in beer, and it can initially seem odd. I personally enjoy it, but will advise that the taste can be polarizing. If you're unfamiliar with rye-ales, Werewolf makes a great introduction, as the flavor is mellow.

In addition, the added malty character of the beer provides a pleasant nutty tone to the sweetness. It's almost as if Newcastle took their flagship ale and married it to a German Octoberfest. Their baby is Newcastle Werewolf. If you're a fan of Newcastle, you'll certainly enjoy this seasonal offering.

Both "Dog Soldiers" and Newcastle's Werewolf hail from the UK, the setting of the classic Universal "Wolf Man" film from 1941. This shared heritage makes them a great match to enjoy together.