Tales from the Darkside paired with Hay Ride Autumn Ale

31 Days of Draughts and Darkness: Volume III

Tales from the Darkside (1990)

I love horror-anthologies. Each is like a set of tiny macabre appetizers that, when taken together, create a meal of many flavors. We get a whole collection of spooky stories, often of wide variety. Ghosts, vampires, werewolves, zombies. Anthology-style horror is one of the only forms of film whereby the above creatures of the night routinely all come together and party in the same movie.

"Tales from the Darkside" largely missed my radar these last few years, despite having the horror cred of George Romero and Stephen King, who've quite a bit of previous experience with this form of storytelling. "Creepshow", directed by Romero and written (and acted in) by King, is largely considered the go-to classic anthology horror movie. It's scary, gory, and most importantly, downright fun.

And tonight's feature has the same blood in its veins.

Quick Note: Can we just comment on how awesome that poster art is? Seriously, we need to bring back the hand-painted sort of cover art horror movies used to be famous for. How many times were the covers alone enough to give you nightmares?

The Plot:

Our wrap-around story appears innocent at first. A lovely little small town. Suburbs by the look of it. A young housewife is making her way home from the grocery store, waving to the humble townsfolk. She arrives home to a beautiful, lavishly decorated house and begins planning a dinner party for her friends. Pay no attention to the broom in the background. I'm sure it means nothing.

And then the pantry door starts shaking. Behind it sits a captured paperboy. He's invited to that fancy dinner party. As the main course.

Fattening him up on cookies, our "housewife" has kept the child entertained by giving him a storybook to read. It's a nasty little collection titled "Tales from the Darkside". As she prepares to cook him, the young boy offers to tell her a story from the book. She's reluctant at first, but he eventually captures her interest. What follows are three tales, each told in an attempt to buy the boy some time before he winds up as dinner.  

Lot 249 tells the story of student rivalry gone terribly wrong. When wealthy prep students cheat a broke classmate out of a scholarship, the classmate responds by ordering a mysterious package. The contents of Lot 249 are about to makes the lives of the cheaters a lot more intense. At least for the short time they last.

Story two, my favorite of the trio, involves an old billionaire hiring an assassin to whack the "Cat from Hell". The seemingly-innocent little house cat has apparently killed many of the mansion's residents.  Understandably, the assassin finds this hard to believe, but for the fortune the old man is offering, he accepts the job. It's just a regular old cat, right?

Lastly, we receive the love-story of the film. On the night a struggling artist witnesses his friend murdered, a vow is spoken. Standing before the blood-soaked claws of a gargoyle, the artist swears to never speak of seeing it to another living soul. Fleeing from the beast, the artist runs into the woman who will become his true love. But how long can he keep his secret before the truth catches up to both of them?

The Flavor:

After watching "Tales from the Darkside", I now consider it a spiritual-successor to "Creepshow 1 and 2". The stories are short and sweet, liberally drizzled in shadows and bloodshed. Many of the characters meet grim, if thematically fitting, demises. Yet the overall tone of the film is unabashed, unapologetic fun. This is a film that wants its audience to enjoy the terror.

Hitting this balance between horror and fun is tricky and seldom pulled off successfully. "Tales from the Darkside" is not a horror-comedy, mind you. The film has it's campy moments but is going for pure horror. Just the variety that brings to mind ghost stories told around a campfire. The vibe is distinctly spooky, reveling in Halloween's split personality of screams and smiles.

Throw in some big celebrity names in early roles, great makeup and effects work, startling transformations, and practical gore, and all you're missing is the popcorn.

While I won't spoil anything, if the film were only one section, one single story, and it was the "Cat from Hell", the whole damn movie would still be worth it. Especially if you like cats.

Best Paired With:

"Tales from the Darkside" should be watched with friends or on a date night. It's the sort of horror movie that's gory, but comical enough to be enjoyed by even the squeamish. The film is the fun sort of Friday-night movie that calls for junk food. Oh yea, and beer...

Brew:

This film captures much of what I love about the season, so we need something heavy on the Fall theme, with spices and warmth. 

Name: Hay Ride Autumn Ale

Brewery: Baxter Brew Co.

Where Brewed: Lewiston, ME

ABV: 6.6%

Style: Spiced Ale

Color:  Hay Ride is a deep reddish-brown, reminiscent of the leaf piles you see raked up around neighborhood yards.

Aroma: The scent profile is mellow. Spiced, yes, but still mellow on the nose. A crisp malty quality is the first thing you'll notice, with a slightly-spiced quality and bit of hop in the background.

Taste: Toasty, toasty goodness, Hay Ride features a warming spice presence that melds with the roasted malt. This union of flavors doesn't result in a sweet taste, but rather a nutty one evocative of a brown ale. But there's more to the flavor profile than that.

Towards the back of each taste, a peppery bitterness kicks in. A bit of rye and hop join the roasted malt, giving Hay Ride a bite on the back of the tongue. The overall blend of flavors is spicy, not in the typical Fall Trio way, but rather sharper, more designed to complement the rye and hop factor.

Aftertaste:  This flavor profile leaves a warm impression on the tongue, as if the brew were meant to be enjoyed just after coming in from the cold. A bit of the spices stick to the tongue after each sip, but the most lingering flavor is the hop.

Body: Medium bodied, Hay Ride isn't meant to be sipped in small doses, but also not meant to be consumed quickly. Enjoy at a moderate pace, quick enough for the refreshment, but gradually enough to appreciate all the spicy flavors.

Pair: Maybe it's the warming-quality of the spices, but I'm thinking whatever food goes best with ice-cold weather outside would also pair up well with Hay Ride. Soups, stews, and other hearty Fall fare.