31 Days of Drafts and Darkness:

"Cabin in the Woods" (2013)

Note: This film is on Netflix Instant Streaming right now! Check it out before Halloween is over.

Of all the reviews I've done through October, "Cabin is the Woods" will likely be the most difficult to write. Not because I don't have enough to say. I'm fairly certain I could fill multiple blog entries with discussion on this one film. Rather, it's going to be tough putting a review together that encompasses how great a movie "Cabin in the Woods" is without giving anything away. 

My advice: Do not listen to anyone's synopsis or watch any trailer. Watch "Cabin in the Woods" with a completely blank set of expectations. I'll give you the most bare-bones plot summary I can to help enhance the experience. 

What I can tell you is this: "Cabin in the Woods" is one of my favorite horror films. It is equal parts scary and hilarious, playing the simultaneous role of both horror movie and psuedo-spoof. Every single horror clique you can think of is included and joked about. 

What took the movie from good to great in my eyes is the ending, which goes from paying tribute to slasher films to paying tribute to every single horror genre out there. The film's final 30 minutes are an absolute gourmet-caliber buffet of references for even casual fans. Crazy, chaotic, and frighteningly-fun, I could watch these scenes one-hundred times and still find things I missed. 

Here we go...

The Plot

Two story lines are running in parallel as we begin. On one side, we're presented to a nerdy pair of laboratory workers at some underground facility. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. They chit-chat about suburban banality and family matters. They sip coffee in the break room and bicker with coworkers. Seems like some big project is going on that involves multiple departments working together. 

Miles away, we meet a group of college coeds, all jazzed up for vacation. They've scored a stay at a cozy little cabin and are gearing up for a weekend of the usual: drinking, parties, etc. What separates them from typical slasher fodder are their conversations. The 'dumb jock' recommends higher-quality textbooks to his friends. The blonde bimbo is in medical school. Even the stoner's applied some fancy engineering to better conceal his pipes. And yet, here they are marching off to their doom like any one-dimensional pack of stock characters. If they're so smart, why do they start making such bad scary-movie decisions? 

And that's about all I dare to reveal. The rest of the story you'll have to experience for yourself. 

The Flavor

"Cabin in the Woods" isn't just an inventive horror film on its own, it also happens to comment on the entire genre. Each little scary movie nuance is addressed in a darkly comedic way. What's more, the reasons behind all these scenarios are explained, meaning "Cabin in the Woods" actually makes you look at other horror films in a whole new light. It actually makes other horror movies, especially slasher flicks, better when you apply its logic.

Is it scary? Certainly so, and with plenty of gore sprinkled throughout. While "Cabin in the Woods" has a sick little sense of humor and plenty of twisted laughs, it never forgets that for all its satire, it's also trying to frighten you. Thus, when things get messy, they do so in various and disgusting ways. But also through highly inventive and creative means that'll make you smile more than gag. Again, I apologize for being cryptic, but there's only so much I can say without spoiling things.

With a smart screenplay and genius concept, "Cabin in the Woods" manages to both love and laugh at (but more laugh along with) horror movies and the history of the genre. It's both a tribute and a solid stand-alone creepy tale. The flavors are numerous, from grisly death scenes to tongue-in-cheek humor, but everything's well balanced. By the film's ending, you'll have the similar feeling you get when exiting one of Salem's haunted houses. You're exhausted and rattled, but smiling from ear to ear.

It's clear the filmmakers were fully on-board with this film and embraced the idea, out-there as it is.

Best Paired With...

This film bleeds pure Halloween. Whether you love scary movies or only enjoy the occasional fright, "Cabin in the Woods" is a blast. Genre fans will absolutely lose their minds when everything in the story comes together, and even if casual viewers may not get every reference, the sheer spectacle remains massively entertaining.

The content is far too dark for kids. If one thing doesn't scar them, something else will soon come along in the film that does. And certain other scenes would make this an awkward choice for family night. Let's just say that gratuity in horror movies doesn't just come from blood and guts, and "Cabin in the Woods" doesn't forget that.

But for friends and Halloween parties, wow, is this a fun and seriously under-rated frightfest. That this film isn't hallowed as an absolute classic in the genre is bizarre, as few films love scary movies as much as "Cabin in the Woods" does.

Accompanying Brew

With a mixture of so many flavors, "Cabin in the Woods" deserves a beer that's got a lot going on in each sip. However, being such a pure Halloween film, "Cabin's" pairing brew should also amp up the seasonal factor to the extreme.

From Canton, Mass. comes tonight's brew: Blue Hills Pumpkin Lager.

While most pumpkinheads are ales, and thus made via top-fermenting yeast, Blue Hill's offering is a lager, which involves a different process. Ales are made at warmer temperatures and use top-fermenting yeast. Lagers take much longer to make than in ales and requires far lower temperatures. The yeast in lager wort ferments the brew from the bottom up. It requires patience, but this lagering process produces beer with an incredibly smooth texture and crisp, refreshing body.

Blue Hills Pumpkin Lager is a bit stronger than your usual lager at 5.8% ABV, but you wouldn't know it from drinking a pint. True to its style, this lager goes down smooth as silk. You'll find yourself drinking a large quantity without even realizing. With higher alcohol kick, I can certainly see it sneaking up on you, especially when you take its flavor profile into account.

Though I usually avoid sweeter brews, Blue Hill's seems to have hit the perfect level of sweet and spicy with their pumpkin lager. Each sip delivers a robust wave of seasonal spices and sugar, but after a moment, a dry hoppy finish sweeps over the tongue and cleanses the palate. As a result, even after multiple sips, the beer never gets overly cloying or sweet. Rather, these  final hop flavors keep the entire brew balanced. They also add some complexity to the mix, as you're left with a slightly-bitter and dry aftertaste that contrasts to the sweetness.

For the combo of smooth body and a flavor that's perfectly Halloween without becoming overpowering, I'm highly impressed by Blue Hills Pumpkin Lager. And I say this having sampled many, many, many pumpkin beers over the last two months for this list. 

Here I was, thinking I was sick of pumpkin beers. I guess an old dog can still learn new tricks, just like "Cabin in the Woods" showed me.